Spider...Oh man!

So it's been a little while since I last blogged so I'm surprised I still have any followers! I have no excuses, I've just been lazy and I guess I haven't had anything very interesting to say (wow, that's not like me at all!). 

My latest entry is going to centre around one thing. Something I hate more than anything and I'm sure many people share my sentiments...Spiders! 

So last night I was getting ready for bed and walked into my room only to find someone had already beat me to it! A huge, (yes it was massive and I stand by my claim) hairy, creepy, dirty, disgusting, (did I say hairy?) spider! It was casually walking on my roof like it had every right to be there right above my bed mind you. 


After I finished freaking out over the possibility that it would lose its grip and plop straight onto my bed, laughing evilly all the while (yes, of course!). I went and grabbed the broom from the kitchen, climbed on my bed (the spider was now on the wall above the window) and tried to squish it. Of course my pathetic attempt at squishing it ended up with it just plopping off the wall, but thankfully not onto my bed. At first I had no idea where it went, so naturally I had another girlish panic attack because I couldn't see it. It's one thing to see a spider on your wall, but another to see it and then have it disappear! I could just picture the spider hiding away laughing its ass off at me whilst brainstorming some evil plot to get me when I'm sleeping! So anyways, I raced back to the kitchen to get the fly spray, swearing all the while that I would sooner drench my bedroom in white foamy spray, then sleep knowing there was a spider hiding in there somewhere. After more searching I finally found it hiding behind the blind on the window. I used the broom to try to squish it between the blind and the wall, but of course, that only resulted in it plopping down on to the window ledge! - Cue freak out #3 - So then I grabbed the spray and I sprayed it, and boy did I spray it! I would have sprayed it more if I wasn't fearful that I would fumigate myself along with it. Here is a pic. What do you think? Did I use enough spray? 






So then, when I was sure it wasn't going to be creeping off to hide anywhere, I picked up the long, wooden stick from my window ledge (we use them to to put in the window tracks so you cant open the window), and proceeded to squish him. If there is one thing that is creepier then a spider, it has to be the sound it makes when it's being squished. The gooey, crunching sound. EWWWW! Yes, I guess I did feel a bit remorseful and cruel during the squishing process, but there was no way I would have been able to use a tissue or the like to pick it up and put it outside. If I tried that and it somehow managed to crawl out of the tissue I was holding I would literally have heart failure! So it was either him or me, and I chose me! Jaime - 1, Hairy Spider - 0.

It's amazing how violated and dirty one can feel after seeing a spider in one's room. And, for the next few hours I was paranoid that his spidey family and friends would send out a search party only to find its mutilated body on my window sill, and then come after me with fangs bared and dripping with venom! 

Someone asked me once:

"How can you kill them without trying to be humane first? Just catch it and put it outside. Its more scared of you then you are of them. Haven't you seen Charlotte's web?" 


To which my reply was:

"There is no way that thing would be more scared of me then I am of it! And, yes, I've seen Charlotte's web, but I can't say I share the same sentiments as many others. She was still a creepy, hairy spider. I have a word for you Charlotte: M-O-R-T-E-I-N .... "


This experience has taught me one thing though: Always look up when entering any room. 

I may be back to blog later but if not then I hope you all enjoy your Saturday!


Peace out,
Jay